Frequently Asked Questions

Q: The bunny is chasing us around growling and it's eyes are glowing. Help!

A: First, this is not a question... Your bunny's guardian function has been activated. To shut it down, use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. (Out of Stock, sorry.)

Q: The Tickle Me Cthulu Doll is eating my child. What do I do?

A: This is a known occurance with this model, however it is a feature, not a bug. It is designed to teach your child a pavlovian response not to mess with things older and more evil than they are. Your child is in no danger since Tickle Me Chuthulu is made with the finest breathable microfiber and has not been made with the capability to actually digest (upgrade available). To release your child, feed Tickle Me Chuthulu selzer water until the doll belches and releases your child.

Q: Can my child catch a disease from your germs?

A: Yes, but not from our plush ones we sell.

Q: Do you folks take souls for payment?

A: No. As clearly stated on our ordering page, we take most major credit cards, PayPal and good personal or company checks.

Q: Is this site real? Can I get one of those Cthulus that eat my kids? What's in the microbes? Are you one of them there devil people?

A: No. No. Dacron Polyfill, No. You have too much time on your hands. Get a hobby.